Sunday, November 28, 2004

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Hopelessly Devoted.

express well what I feel is something a little strange. I guess the previous journal entries will see that my happiness complete a few days ago has been suddenly interrupted right in the day I felt so lucky.


I guess it's the first time it breaks my heart, nor the first time I cry, and is not the first time I feel so stupid and childish. But this time I get in a way so unlike what has happened to me ... As soon come pleasure come pain soon. It's a strange dizziness between guilt, and not to appreciate fully what I held my arms, and confusion so great and painful. Miro


words embraced me less than two days ... The smiles, caresses, everything that can minimally relate to it, all you can be him, and torn something inside me that I can be thinking lost. I do not know what to do, but I know he would do whatever. I know I was wrong, and that may derrepente harbored feelings that ceased to be reciprocal for my stupidity. Why not enjoy more of joy? Why is it so different and special in spite of all obstacles surrounding this relationship? How to quell these feelings so painful?

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express well what I feel is something a little strange. I guess the previous journal entries will see that my happiness complete a few days ago has been suddenly interrupted right in the day I felt so lucky.


I guess it's the first time it breaks my heart, nor the first time I cry, and is not the first time I feel so stupid and childish. But this time I get a whole so differently what happened to me ... As soon come pleasure come pain soon. It's a strange dizziness between guilt, and not knowing fully appreciate what I had in my arms, and confusion so great and painful. Miro


words embraced me less than two days ... The smiles, caresses, everything that can minimally relate to it, all you can be him, and torn something inside me that I can be thinking lost. I do not know what to do, but I know he would do whatever. I know I was wrong, and that may derrepente harbored feelings that ceased to be reciprocal for my stupidity. Why not enjoy more of joy? Why is it so different and special in spite of all obstacles surrounding this relationship? How to quell these feelings as painful?

\u0026lt;Not all pack sizes so short and so long amor,

olvido.> recognize I did not know ... What do I have? I'm too devoted to him, and I could not do anything when I had the chance. And it does not tell me to forget ... I do not know. I do not know. I do not know. Just know that ... Madrid, Las Palmas .... I do not care, as long as he is.

Friday, November 26, 2004

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Petrarch's love (and Laura?)

The situation inberbe
your hair fallen out

How may lie in those lips

I kissed her and I miss so much?


And this pain How
streaming eyes
nighters where I lost myself in my delirium?

will seek the remedy to the memory of all this in a strange inharmonious chords. Love! Do not think you could kill your subjects!

We seek the prayers of a virgin.




(Interestingly enough, by chance today i was reciting the last poem of Neruda's love).

Changement Unité Autocad 2004

bloody_charles @ 2004-11-27T00: 04:00



You Are a Martini



're not a total lush, But you do like your drinks strong
For you, drinking is an art. An experience to Be relished.
That Does not mean you do not get really really drunk.
A few strong martini's, and you're dancing on the bar!



Martini? Never would have thought ...

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bloody_charles @ 2004-11-26T23: 47:00

IT'S MY PARTY AND I'll DIE IF I WANT TO!


YOU WOULD DIE TOO IF IT HAPPENED TO YOU!

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Message

hang up the phone. It is an austere silence.
Will you be breaking? I
go forward past.
If I look I see, if I try to be discreet breaks my soul inside.
Why do we persist in the future and not the present.
I can not make you see what happens, because I have my eyes and you yours. But it's so clear


not want to lose all that will happen is a dream.
A kiss dream. The final promise
not reach the airport to within a lot.
If it arrives.
I wait.
I wait.
I wait.
I wait.
I hope!
And what happened not just a past. How
make you see? How?
I need. I crave.

I wait.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

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personnel Thanksgiving

Being as I am in an American school today 'celebrate' Thanksgiving and we have class tomorrow. It may be a little strange but I want to stop thinking about everything I have to give thanks, there are times when I stop and I realize how truly lucky I am and it's a daunting thought. I also believe that so I can help some of the prejudices I have about the Americans, who no doubt believe they are not as real as the paint, and I know many Americans who are wonderful people.

I have to give thanks for:

1. The family I have, I know we have many discussions and are likely to hate them occasionally, but we are united and I never wanted for anything, in the good times are always very well and I have their support in what should be and though it's hard to get.


2. The education you have given me, certainly not many have had the opportunities I have and I know I've got the most out of college where I am, is a fantastic place if you want, and I can not complain about my art education I have always had very good teachers of music, theater and dance recently.

3. My friends are people who are always there when I needed, despite the stupid chop and days of bad mood, I am thankful for having people like Fatima, Laura and Sochi they are there since I was little and I know as I do myself and always supported me in whatever. Also to other friends who know less and help me in my wanderings thousands of psychological (people like Tamar).

4. Ra course, that while I have it relatively recently, seems to have been there forever.

5. Thank you very much for being in the ballet class where I am, I know that just do not give the full size but have been too lenient (-_-) And I'm glad I found something that is so full and I like the way it it does.

6. Thanks for everything, everything everything I have, I know I'm not missing anything and I can not complain.


I think those are the main things, if we exclude someone or something please do not hesitate to comentarmelo jejeje.

Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

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In the Temple of loooove .. .. Idem Idem

A month ago today (24/10/2004) that I started a relationship with someone very special. I have not given all deserve mention here because of my habit of only writing when I go wrong, but hey, I think he deserves this and much more, all that means to me. It is so special because he loves me as I am, and we should not feign a liking to the hairdresser or a pathetic ignorance. I can not begin to write how I feel, and whatever it is for me in the short time we've been together. But I digress a lot in this, I like to keep what's good for me, that does not lose its special touch.

intoxicates me with kisses and simple roze your body can get drunk with my hands, I spider with his words and I plunged into a grief so passionately pleasure that makes my heart cry.

My birthday is coming up and I must say that there has been a change of plans, the bottle will look forward to this:

And you do not like, that does not come, that is like a dream come true: Sisters of Mercy and Siouxsie!! What better birthday gift I can expect? Thanks [info] missfetishkitty for the information. Oh, and who wants to come to celebrate my seventeen years is more than welcome / a. You

scholar of my nightmares. I want to drink you again for another month, and another and another and another.

Monday, November 22, 2004

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The language test came out strangely well, which I expected since my level had dropped considerably. And even the teacher told me to read my comments to the class. I think I'm improving as I forgot the old crush me so decentered. 'm Not going to fall in love with a fursia of that caliber. I also think it is a matter of confidence. I had to remind myself who I was and I know and I can write well. I lost a lot of confidence in myself when I entered the room, because there are no values what so important for me, like literature, studies, and many other things that are not the tricks hairdressing and love of people who do not know.


I'm wondering why people are so conventional. I was talking with a friend who never ceases to say that if not what Dior, Gucci do not know what ... I wonder why not look beyond famous and looking for alternative things, more expressive clothing brands. That's what happens with people. Do not look beyond what is the reach and do not study other possibilities, it is sad. For example in the painting: the people who are dedicated to imitate or copy drawings manga magazine models or ready-made clothing designs ... Why not dare to create, wet, to express? What good copy but to learn a certain technique?

course some people may just let the creative well ... I'm glad, but it distresses me that people are that simple.


Finally I have the band sounded "Eight Women"! I love that movie. Catherine Deneuve is one of my favorite actresses.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

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Movement.

Today I realized that my life has some intrinsic patterns that are constantly repeated. I can say recomfortante for a fact because I know what the consequences of what happens and I know that will happen after all.

I see that build up in me a series of problems-especially the family and my above selfishness. Then all in a strange irumpe download and then the problems becomes a quiet huge.

certainly I feel irritable. Same is the weather. Culqui thing I say I wake up in some discomfort. I hate this mix of hot and cold so we Canaries. Would a definition of the time. This could enjoy a proper winter. I have also a strange exhaustion. I do not know what happened to me this year but I feel like I've lost all that was before. In my class I'm drowning in silence and I could have been before I'm losing it, and do not know if this is better or worse.


I hope this is due to weather or something. I have faith that, according to the pattern of which I spoke, at home everything is settled soon, but do not understand the exhaustion and lack of spirit. I think since then a change of scenery would not all bad, but now is the time. Trying to explain this could become a casus bellum for another huge family discord, and honestly do not know if I could take it now.

is very little for my birthday.

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yesterday, I Went to the night of the ravine to see to the thirteen ballads, ballads
band sings That I Went alone because i want to Have A
time by myself But I was fine i saw to
manolo neighborhoods, I have songs my song "you understand me", which according to one friend is my song ... and really seems to actually sing
me anyway, i stay on the second floor on the first floor Because only companions were those who had in tables
the pass I promise to take pictures here
the end of the concert I approached and asked him to autograph Zamalloa toto and to stop with the first roche gave me because I was with people but do not stop because I was alone (the I saw when I went to buy tickets) and even gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him to take care
and I said thanks and smiled at me ... so cute
were also friends of them and I think phoebe claudia Salem and also a manolo ah
to his wife teased him until he cried "Strive manolo" ja ja ja and laughed