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trueque (members only).
Oh, by the way ... I passed . The examination was that shit merde of pork, but the story must have Alguita find it funny to the teacher. So finally I have finished the studies. Now ... Life goes on (except for the algae). A for something else ...
In memory of the algae. DEP
Special thanks to Aina, Miriam, Susan, Albert, Miner, Tapi and Zuri, for putting confidence in me all that I lost long ago. And my little one, that is, to my tito Germi, I love him very much. Directly.
This I have told elsewhere, but as you are about to find out (if you did not know already, which I doubt, by the way) I am a downright vague, so I do copy / paste and we were all so happy.
I'll tell you a story Bonica is based on real events:
classes ended in February and I was one, so I could not get out of practice and end up the beautiful view (not to say the least) career half environment. They said that until the end of June would not have to recover it, so since then I've been hitting a holiday from hell beautiful and blessed. What do you think I have taken all this time? Why study? Hehe ... No, that's very unlike me. I am an egg producing three pairs of nostrils, so I used to hack around, to travel, to do what I like (ie, touch my nose) ... Total, and have time to study later. Today
(paraphrasing Alis), to May 28 and thinking he still had a month to study, have called to tell me that the review be brought forward to June 2. Conclusion: I have the exam within five days and have not studied shit.
Imaginaréis how I've been ... Yes, dead. Dead and the crooked ass. If ... I'm an idiot and in my house do not know. I'm a mess, friends / os. So I'm going to have to paste an intensive three pairs of nuggets to study me 975 pages in five days without sleep and without milk, of course, because I have exams tomorrow and English to get me the official title by the University of Cambridge I can not make time for everything. Another conclusion: I will die.
Nothing, after using all my frustration here I wish you GOOD LUCK to all of you who, like me, you have been pringar. And as a good friend says: can we do? We can!
And put this photo because. Because he did to me brightens my day.
" Stop looking, you'll see how suddenly appears." Sure, sure ... That is, if I sit on the couch, I cross my arms and put a face of "all give a shit, including climate change," whatever you're looking sticking out somewhere and say, surprise! It was here that I had left home! I love to imagine these people sitting on the couch, looking anxious and waiting for the keys come walking through the door. I also like to imagine the keys sticking his head (if to walk, why should not they have a head?) by the frame and hiding at full speed just as the person in question looks in his direction. So are the keys. So naughty ... I think that's why we love so much to lose.
" Look at the site that is less likely to be, it sure is there ." Consider the sentence, because it makes less sense than Diaz Marujita eyes when they catch the turbo. You mean if I think unlikely that the keys are on top of Everest, and go to Everest, I am going to find there? Did not I get better and cheaper to look under the sofa or in the fruit bowl? In my opinion, is unlikely that some keys are in the fruit bowl. Although, if unlikely, then, how the hell will be there ...? I think in these cases it is best to look in your pocket. After all, it is unlikely to be there. Why? Because all the pockets are always holes (which, incidentally, I begin to suspect that something of the keys).
" yourself in the shoes of the keys, think like them. If you were a key, where would you hide ...? . A tip for these people, put yourself in the place of a person with brains and Use it. And if you find your brain; seek in place that is less likely to be. The keys I have moved. Sure.
Anyway, I do not know what to expect. I think you should look for some idea. And I'm thinking ... Maybe, if I look, just suddenly appear ...
Dedicated to my good friend and future best-selling writer Germain. Thanks for insisting so strongly on to update the blog (because as we have to wait for me I feel like we are bad ...), and have a big heart despite your youth and say that my blog is like "menstruation." No you're right, man. Do not need ...
unable to sleep. And it's cool. Seriously, if we put aside the fact that in the morning I'm eating door frames, and I have incidents like "put the juice in the microwave and serve milk with meals, this is so cool not to sleep. Mola because I had the opportunity to know a little better the night world and the creatures that inhabit it, and because I have carried out a series of fascinating discoveries.
First of all is that at night everything is a little darker, but as you will have probably already discovered this on your own you and without my help, I will focus on which to me has attracted more attention: at night people can not speak. Yes, you read right: the nocturnal world has been taken by people who, at least, are morons. Yes, yes, and damn goats, go. Because otherwise, I will say what the point is the phrase that I will put below, and I heard from the mouth of a radio announcer at about 4 am:
-[...] This act held in the capital of Spain, specifically in Madrid.
No! Really? And I thought it would be done in any of the other capitals that have 568'13 this country ... But it seems that there is a man who, for whatever reason, always choose Madrid as capital to be developed in all major events. And annoys me, huh? I FAST 568.13 other capitals. They have feelings too, Joe.
But that is not the thing. And it seems that some of the radio broadcasters working at night have been hired in any way. I can imagine the person in charge walking down the street, hands in his pockets, looking from side to side until finally, he encounters a beggar who begs in front of the Corte Ingles. "Hey, sir, you have to have a great pint way with words. "Huh?". "Yes, I see yes. How about taking over a late-night radio in exchange for a bowl of capers. "Aha
...". Do not believe me? Another pearl I heard another radio announcer:
"It will be easier to get rid of relatives ... I mean ... I mean ... it will be easier out of the way to problem patients.
Indeed, friends, it seems that at one hospital in one of the 568.13 capital of Spain is out of the way to relatives ... I mean, patients problematic. What he really meant the man who dropped this great contradiction? I do not know, maybe the price of squid is down, but their brains and their mouths are a little uncoordinated finally offer an effective method to eliminate patients who do nothing but complain. And this sounds like a mafia that you shit, come on. Mr A afternoon offering a remedy to get rid of patients? Sure, sure ... "I have broken my arm!" I have forty fever!, I crashed, and now a rib me going through the lung and is preventing me from breathing! ". Bah, whiners. They call it radio announcer, and you'll see how fast it solves all their problems.
The fact is that besides releasing all kinds of meaningless phrases, lock more than talk. I'm beginning to think that if they hire a chimpanzee instead of these people I would most profitable and probably will not notice the difference. Moreover, the noise may produce a chimpanzee eating a banana is more coherent than anything you say a radio announcer.
Another thing I discovered in these days that I could not sleep a wink, is that the night waking people walking can not be very normal (a good example: myself). There is more to hear what they announce between songs and between kick to the dictionary and meaningless phrase of speakers: penis lengthening machines, face color and religious schools, among others. And to begin at the front gives you announce stretching machine members along with schools where they work cures. My can not do this to me, and less at those times, because I start to make strange associations and I think the elongated penises are advertised for the priests who go buy awake at 4 in the morning. And we all know that priests do not think about those things, right? Come on, missing more ...
So no, if one day you see that you can not sleep I recommend one thing: turn on the radio and listen carefully. You will learn many things, such as the actual number of funds that Spain has to silence or remedies ill patients chungas whiners. And if what you want is sleep, you could imagine to cures color masks its members extending funnel-shaped machines. The brain switches off immediately to avoid damage to such an image and you will fall in a nice, deep sleep that you move away from chimpanzees broadcasters, and revelers priests.
Good night ... who get to sleep.
had no intention of using the blog for this kind of thing, but I think the occasion merits.
turns out that on 15 I went to the fifth hell (or Madrid, everyone who calls as you want) to see the play 'Richi Coming! ", and I had the pleasure of meeting Inmes Angel Martin, a person whom I have admired for years. I admired him professionally, but from now admire him as a person, it was great, was very attentive, very natural, very friendly and above all very patient.
A part of me two Besic, devote a few words and get a souvenir photo, offered to accompany us to the theater, which was not required to do but, nevertheless, did. Yes, the little boy was confused direction and we had to turn back, but all is forgiven for being a heaven and, what the hell, because I was amused to see the look on his face before say 'sorry, I confused, not here '.
liarme could tell how good a person he is and all that, but just leave it there how was my first contact with him
"We were in front of Starbucks and two girls (can not remember who) started calling me:
-Angel is at Starbucks, is behind you.
And I do not believe anything I said "Yes
man behind me is going to be.
So no, I turned around after a while and in fact was behind me. My reaction? I took all the air I could, I jumped and let out quite nice with all my strength and super audible "¡¡¡¡¡ a host !!!!!". Angel's reaction? face me with 'poor girl calibrated' (same as used with Patricia) and repeat my words. And finally to finish the thing, the excuse that I put was great: 'shit, is that I have scared! '
Mother, two years preparing phrases like "I admire you," "congratulations on your work, and I get a damn word. I'm an idiot. Luckily amused, because otherwise ...
That yes, very nice boy, a heaven. I did not know it was possible to admire most, but yesterday I do. "
Here is the photic took me with him
Alba 'set at the clouds' Angel Molina and Martin
guy is a shit, talking bad and soon. He behaved great, spent the odd joke and showed that in addition to being the best presenter in Spain (not just because I say so, you have a TP, huh?), is a beautiful person. And unemployment and shit, I'm excited and I do not want.
Ah, indeed. Hell of a play, I recommend everyone to go see it. I saw it all sitting in the front row (from where we could see how Angel proudly applauded us and sent us a kiss), and it was amazing. I felt every spasm of laughter because ... We, as Alberto said: 'nuts now put us ahead and we start with the head. "
A kiss.
If you ever have the chance ... if you could publish a column in a newspaper or magazine would be as I have written below. I know you will never see the light (let's face it), but I'm bored. And when I get bored I can be terribly clever ... Wait, did I say clever? No. In fact meant idiot. Yes, that was the word: idiot, imbecile, the Halls ... In the end, everyone finds it as I want.
This is my first column, so that you go I know I am going to talk about one of my features: I tend to talk a lot without saying anything concrete. This what conmunmente is called a text filled with straw "is something that my teacher taught me. And do not think that I do is pour a sack of straw on the sheets because that would not make much sense. Does it? Would the same meaning literally fill a sheet of straw filled bullshit the free newspaper column? Mother, what a comparison! It is as if set me to compare the price of housing, for example, the cooking time needed for the shrimp shells can be removed without suffering irreversible damage to the nails.
But this straw filling is an art. I think that should be studied in all faculties. "How to talk without saying anything." Not appear to do, but it is very useful when you have nothing interesting to say. For example, I used much the "stuffed with straw" in any political conversation, where ever I have nothing to contribute, because I always end up talking about the funny thing is I see a dove can not fly away because of the wind . Politics and doves ... Topics "incompatible? I would not be so sure. After all, the pigeons are "rats of the air ', and politicians are ... Change of subject? Yes, the better.
Okay, I think I'm getting toméis by a calibrated, and I do not blame them. But the foolish do not know if you'll notice that I finish my column without reaching a conclusion and to say nothing of profit. You see, folks? I have already won 30 EURET and I have not had to put nor sentimental, nor depth, nor give a lot of the coconut to complete this piece of page.
Think about it. Perhaps, after all, I'm not calibrated.
Dedicated to Dani Mateo, who inspired me with his wisdom in this crap.
In DT Magazine article of January, Angel Martin gave us a gift:
There are creative
Article 5 (January) From
I started writing in this magazine I realized that if people just simply read what others write ... do not develop the creative side of your brain. The party is allowed to make up stories. Developing imagination. Invent new worlds.
So, taking advantage of very soon is the day of Reyes, I wish you a very special gift. I give the last page of a fashion magazine to write what you get out of their noses. Do not thank me. HAPPY NEW YEAR
In response to this gift, made about a month I wrote what came out of the very noses (as he called us), and hung it in their official forum my own "paper" (note quotes, please):
Christmas, Christmas, sweet ... Christmas. Let's dissect:
sweet Why Christmas? Why polvorones, by fights over the control to choose the chain of bells, or the gifts? I suppose you might be wondering: what the hell is about fighting for the control or gifts with this? Well ... So what does the sweet Christmas?.
Christmas is a time that makes me laugh. If you think about it, is when families take the opportunity to pinch your cheeks, when the streets are filled with little lights as you leave Pistoja, when the English Court baths are petados of people (which I do not deny at all We have been good once we've had an emergency), and when you sit down to dinner with your Grandma and you have to hear things like that to come Herminia has a bunion or the downstairs neighbor has all the funny pink clothes because the child got a red thong with white clothes in the washer (careful, these things are know them in detail).
That is very common in all grandmothers. They know things that neither you nor I, nor NASA researchers will ever know. And, eye, do not try to ask them how they do it to know everything, because you'll probably respond with "Oh, my dear, when you get older you'll understand." Okay, when I grow up I know so many things as you, but also give much importance to things like that Herman has a bunion. Really offset ...?
Some say that the wisdom of grandmothers hair comes from the wart with most of them in the face. Well, it could be because these warts are only passing in the elderly. But here I return to ask me ... Does it really compensate?.
Returning to the subject of Christmas, you know another thing that I do not like? That man in red who comes to visit the night of December 24. And I say: but it is very nice, which brings us many gifts and asks in return only a cup of milk and cookies! Well, okay ... But it turns out that I do not bring anything! I came to visit I think it does. At least when I wake up, cookies and glass of milk have disappeared. It will be very stale ....! I have decided that next year I will wait for sitting by the Christmas tree with my Super Shocker in hand, to see who laughs more. Although, well ... I have not really because Mr. Super Shocker red never brought me and my mother says that cookies and glass of milk I drink to me in the middle of the night, when I wake up half asleep and hungry (I've asked that if I am sleepwalking, but he says no, that I eat a lot is standard since I was small and simply I can not help it).
But anyway, what can we do, I at Christmas is that I do not see anything positive. I have a friend who often tell me: You'll see when you receive orders, how happy you are putting on!. Not really. Moreover, every morning under a look in the mailbox with a tremor that neither the Richter scale, praying that no one has come up with the brilliant idea to send me a compliment like that. How expensive would open? "Oh, great ... panfletillo with a snowman with grim expression and a cat with Santa hat ... Es .. is ... very original and very consistent all ...". And worst of all is that you feel compelled to answer the funny that sent you the postcard. So no, getting dressed, going to the store, looking for the most bizarre post there (probably a rabbit jumping along with tutu a Christmas tree with scarf), grab a pen and faced sarcasm (at the time you think you're going to see), you begin to write "thank you very much for the postcard, nice, you spend a Merry Christmas and a prosperous new year, and not from harm to postal workers in your area, that they are also friendly. " Probably the person in question does not pick up the hint of sarcasm and your face has not been useless, but hey, you free yourself you can not see.
, I suppose there's nothing I can do. Continue shaking panic every time they begin to replace the announcement of "The Almond" in November and give me head against the wall every time you see a Super Shocker.
So nothing, as they say angry older, and I do not want to become a grandmother still talks about Herman with bunions, I'll wish everyone a Merry Christmas, you enjoy a lot, to receive many gifts and, above all, to be very happy.
And by the way, this is not meant to be ironic.
(old-time thing, I know, but I have no time to write anything new, and leaving it here maybe it look good and all).
Go for the bread has become quite an adventure for me. Enter the bakery, to accustom the light-laden air, breathing the fumes coming out of the oven, put up with the charlatans hell y. .. prevent hit by you that person goes back and forth carrying product that leaves on the counter and probably not even intend to buy. This particular specimen is totally fascinated me: it is able to keep all conversations while charging quite a farm in arms (eggs, milk cows ... and not because there is that but ...) and just never stamped against the ground. I tried to do once, but did not go well. Moreover, they put on the door of the bakery a poster with my picture on which was written: this girl has no entry to this facility. Since that day I had to change bakery.
Anyway, back to the people obsessed to cover up the bakery products ... I have a theory, and trauma is that they are small because they never had a lego game. We've all had sooner or later a lego game, right? Well, they do not . Now is to see a flat surface (in this case the counter), and try to make a wall with first caught (in this case, yoghurt, eggs and bollicaos). If Mr. Papa Noel had not been so stingy, many of us have avoided pushing, trampling, and the stress of seeing a woman running from one place to another to build your nostrils before the Berlin Wall based Danone products .
There
another specimen who runs a lot of bakeries and that worries me: the lady who is always leaning on the corner of the desk and never intend to buy anything. It's that air of a truck driver in a bar that has two roles in the hierarchy of a bakery: not buy bread (like everyone else, right?), and talk with anyone who comes near . I started thinking that is put there by the city to entertain the elderly. Because that is another: each time I go to buy bread no more than old, and I begin to wonder if it will be because there are two types of bakeries (those of younger and older men), and I always go by accident which is not for me. I have to learn this, not going to be that the youth have free drinks and donuts or churros I'm going always to that in the specimens there are only outsiders who make you buy the bread is a daily adventure.
is that however exaggerated it may sound, I suffer every time I set foot in that little hell. Especially when the truck is turned counter with his face to study Herminia top to bottom and start to question with such interesting questions as "Do you think it will rain?" Or comments like "you are spitting in my granddaughter" . These things, though not enough, it scares , Especially when they come from the lips of a lady with curls that is inside of a very small you probably can not go out because the hyper Danone Berlin Wall will be clogging the entrance.
The remaining persons are living in the bakery filling. Know their functions, but the thing is they do not see a package. And surely I'll be asking a question: "people buy their bread filling? No, do not buy bread, do not buy mussels and do not buy anything. What are there, what then? For to touch my nose.
I think that bakeries are an invention of psychologists to make money. You walk through the door, you find a truck with curls, a lady with a trauma with Lego toys and a lot of people more than makes your arrival to the desk is a mission impossible. Damn, they go crazy! whither go crazy? As a psychologist! Well, no, not all. There are some who are going to Big Brother, but hey, that's another invention that is beside the point.
And if you think that the world is full of inventions . Another clear example is the flies. Yes, the flies, the little things with wings so like a. .. so similar to other small things with wings. These emitting that noise so nice .... Bzzzzzzzzz .... Bzzzzz .... BZZZZZZZZZ. Nice, huh? As nice as they decide that your head is the gravitational center of the galaxy and start drawing circles around it true that satellite.
What happened to whom the invention of the fly? Is clear: the bartenders.
I explain: you're sitting in bed, thinking of your stuff (for example), and suddenly you hear. Bzzzz ..... Bzzzzz ... Bzzz. At first you think you should not have eaten so many beans , but after a while you realize that you who is producing the sound. No, that is, is this thing with a black pushpin has set up a perimeter around your head. It scrotumtightening, I think they are police complex, they just need to put a band around your skull to claim the territory as their own.
Anyway, what I was going. The fact is that at first it's funny, but there comes a time when the police pin begins to be weary and you start to get angry. But you hold, you hold pride and do not move, because a simple fly is not going to get crazy. And follow them round your head, follow, follow, follow ... And you and more red clown nose Micolor ... Until a time when you can not help. You wake up in bad milk, salt room shotgun (Fly decides to follow because he has grown fond of) and someone asks you where you go. "What where am I going? What where am I going? "(This is usually repeated twice to give more emphasis to the issue)," I go to the bar, to give me air! ". And that is, money you're investing in the tavern.
That's the thing flies, they just enfadándote to the point you get sick of them and end up blaming your personal misfortunes, that you've burned the rice and that hunger in the world. I have a theory, namely that the phrase "to be pissed" does not mean to be angry . Means to be being chased by a fly.
Anyway, back to the bakery, and finally, wanted to make a special mention to a character that I have much affection: afraid the old man is usually in a corner . Is that looking from side to side, bewildered, as two loaves of bread pressed against his chest as if his life depended on it. And it seems to me dear, because it reminds me that apart from truckers and construction of the Berlin Wall of Danone, the bakery people are normal, sane people who still has one thing clear and that will serve a purpose: buy bread.
Chao! Sometimes
I realize the absurdity of being human. Today was one of those days where, after a little accident, I stop to think how funny that was the day God decided to create us. Come on, I was a horny ... Because I can not explain it but that we should acquire a series of reflections completely useless and ridiculous.
What is the first instinct on a person when he sees that something is about to fall out on the floor, without salvation possible? Then give it a host. Yes, give it a host, but not to the butterfly on a windy day, but a hostión of those who make history. The cheetahs were equipped with speed, strength bears, intelligence of chimpanzees and human beings ... we were given the ability to ... Hosts drop in cold blood ... How reassuring, right?.
a while ago was in the kitchen quietly preparing a bowl of milk, and when I went to open the cupboard where I keep the sugar has fallen upon me a pan. I swear that at times I saw my life pass before my eyes booklet format. So in a desperate attempt to survive, I lifted a hand and I've stuck to the pan such glove that I have commanded you to take the ass and I stamped against the head of my poor brother who happened to be walking by. What can we do? Instinct of survival, him or me ....
Would it not have been easier to take the pan before it fall on me? Yes, but this would have been funny enough for God. And lucky that I dropped a fork, because before this we tend to respond by kicking. Yes, kick a fork ...
(Then people ask me why I am not a believer. Do not you think this a good reason?)
; ;
Pan discord.
12:00 noon. A middle-aged woman (pull high) walks through the aisles of a supermarket, looking from side to side and the mother shitting makers set prices (does anyone know who they are?). In his right hand he carries a small basket full of dairy products that will surely prove one of his house, and he has nothing left for the simple fact that he does not want.
Its pace is slow but determined, and their senses are activated (you never know when you will see a 3x2 or against whom will have to fight to get it). And suddenly, something lying in the hallway stopped their march. That something is a person, but with "something" is as interesting. Well, the fact is that that person does not move, and the woman asks politely step over and over again, although it is ignored in all their attempts. The person, who will now be known as the algodelpasillo (I like to name the characters, it makes me fond of them), still in the middle of the aisle, absently, as if inspired by a poem after having contemplated the cans of mussels for a while. So the woman until algodelpasillo balls, hit a glove with the basket on the arm pushes him to throw it aside and continue with your journey.
Upon reaching the box, makes a face of anger (which is always great), and starts talking to the cashier
Women: Have you seen that guy is in the hall?.
Teller: Yes
Women: Did you know?.
Teller: Yes
Women: As I said a few times to let me pass, and has not moved the bastard.
Teller: It is deaf.
Woman: Ah ..
only say that I understand who I inherited the gift of mishaps.
